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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My dad was an active duty, career military officer of 30 years.

He was largely absent from family life.  My dad was often deployed, attending school and/or at an unaccompanied tour.

My mother was a SAHM who was slavishly devoted to my dad's career and was omnipresent, at least physically.  She was, for all practical purposes, a single parent.  My dad was highly functioning alcoholic; when he was home, we avoided him.

My dad is now gone, but we had a fractured relationship, although there simply wasn't much there to fracture - no togetherness, warm memories, no interaction, etc.

[/quote]

With a few minor tweaks to what you wrote, you could be me.[/quote]

I am very, very sorry to have so much in common.   Talk about keeping secrets; it would have been career suicide had the military found out about the extent of my dad's alcoholism.  I'm amazed that he ascended through the ranks as he did with nary a look into our life.  He also was able to maintain a clearance.  How, I haven't a clue.

I'd like to think that my dad was a product of his time and that the military has changed for the better.  I sincerely hope  that tyrannical, terrifying, abusive men don't get rewarded with a long military career and cushy retirement.

Ever read The Great Santini?  Rang true for me.[/quote]

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