Reply to Can a single mom successfully be in a relationship with someone with no kids?

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Reply to "Can a single mom successfully be in a relationship with someone with no kids?"

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[quote=Anonymous]Your post makes me wonder if you are dating one of my guy friends.  I have a group that has a lot of functions - birthday parties, farewell parties, brunches, trips, concerts, sporting events, etc.  (though if we said "A-list", we mean a core group of close friends, without some of the peripheral people that go to the larger gatherings, because it would be kind of douche-y and pretentious to say A-list otherwise.)

I'm a single mom who was part of this group long before I had my daughter, and I remain part of it because i enjoy the company of these people.  I am far from my real family, so this is my chosen family, my support system.  I care about them and they care about me, and I like having options for going out on weekends.  I am an extrovert, so cutting my social schedule WAY back when I had my daughter was hard on me.  And honestly, if you're single and not having much luck in the dating world (in my case, it's hard to find the time to "audition" random guys from OK Cupid to find a worthy one), a good social life can make up for a nonexistent dating life.  At least for me, it can.  Even past your 20's, an extrovert is going to want to be social.  An introvert may not get that "wanting to be social" is not something an extrovert can just get over.

There are a couple of possibilties here: 1 - he has Fear of Missing Out and can't prioritize his activities.  2 - he has more fun with his friends than he does with you.  If he can bring you to some events and you both have fun, then this could work.  If he's willing to take time out and pick-and-choose his functions - to go to some with you, to go to some without you, to skip some, then this could work.

But if he has more fun with his friends than he does with you and you don't want to go with him, or if he is never able to prioritize some events over others, you are fighting a losing battle and should probably just give up.

I recently had a few dates with a guy and one of the clues that I don't like him enough was that I would rather go out with my friends than with him.  He's just not compelling enough for me to put in the time.  (not smart enough, we don't have enough in common, and I don't think I'm attracted enough to him.)  With other guys I've dated, I've happily said no to parties with the crowd in favor of sitting at a quiet restaurant bar with him and talking about current events for 4 hours straight.

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