Reply to ending a relationship with a parent

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[quote=Anonymous]OP here.

Thank you all for the responses. It is a terrible thing for anyone to have to deal with and wish each of you weren't going through it.

12:40 Thank you. Sometimes it feels like you are alone and I think of the people of have wonderful, close relationships with their mothers. I know, logically, there are many who do not but sometimes its hard to remind myself of that.

14:23 Thank you. That is one of the larger factors for me - the negativity swirling around me and my family. I don't want my children to grow up and see me riding the roller coaster ride that my mother takes me on. And I am worried about the taking sides thing. She has already spent years telling lies about to me other family members so I can only imagine what she would do if I cut off contact. And a total fear of all of this is what if I don't find the peace after the fact? What if I spend the rest of my life with guilt from doing this?

16:03 yes, it is one of my greatest fears that my children will see a family dynamic that they will in turn model in our own family. I would hate that. I fear it. I know of one particular family where the DH was estranged from his family and as a result he, his wife and children are all extremely close. I think they viewed it as how lucky they are to have family and didn't repeat the problem themselves. I can only hope we can create a family environment that our children feel differently than I did in my family environment.

I think the hardest decision I am having with this is in relation to my children. I have a hard time accepting that they will not have a relationship with my mother (and possibly my father if 'taking sides' is inevitable) Will they wonder why their cousins all know Grandma and Grandpa and they don't? Will they blame me?[/quote]

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