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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]H and I have agreed to separate for a bit to work on things in our marriage, particularly [b]his spending more than he contributes. [/b]I make more than he does and it will be a struggle for him to afford a place on his own, but I'm willing to cover some of the expenses as I think this is so important for us. Not how to structure this, though - personal loan? That seems like it would feel weird if we reconciled. Private loans he would be eligible for have crazy interest, which I'm worried about incurring if we reconcile (the whole point of this is for him to be financially responsible, not take on more debt for us). Continuing to share a bank account doesn't feel like a real separation. Any advice?

I'd also appreciate any general tips. I want this separation to feel real (not just like he's away on a trip), but also don't want to leave him in the lurch. Should he move all of his stuff out?

TIA[/quote]

Frankly you sound kinda fucked up around money. What do you mean "spends more than he contributes?" A marriage is not about spending only what your paycheck contributes to household pot. That is money that is shared equally. Now if he is spending more than your household pot can afford or is buying big-ticket items without talking it over with you, that's a problem. And then there's this notion that you're separating so he can learn to manage his money better. It sounds like you're his mother trying to teach your son a lesson.

Are you seeing a marriage counselor? If not, that is where you need to be spending the household money.  [/quote]

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