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[quote=Anonymous]I have had 2 different careers since graduating from college (two different graduate degrees).  Most recently I went back to grad school in my early 30's, got a master's in a new field I felt was a good match, and have worked at the same job full-time since then until recently when I resigned to be a SAHM to our first child.

Now that I've been a SAHM for 6 months, I've been reflecting a lot on my past work experiences and feeling bad that I never lived up to my potential in any of them.  Basically I feel like I've been a complete failure career-wise.  I've never really excelled at any of my jobs, and always ended up not liking any of my jobs eventually and dreading going to work.  I've resigned from every job I've had within a 2 year period.  The longest job I've worked at was 2 years.  I feel like I've wasted my graduate degrees and feel sad that I never really found the right match career-wise, despite my best efforts.

I was always a really good student, and excelled in my college and grad school programs, but never performed very well at work.  I've always felt like a failure about this, and am trying to figure out why.

So now that I'm reflecting on my work experiences, I feel that I have failed at every job both socially and in terms of the actual work.  While I'd like to be a SAHM for awhile (a year or so), I think a lot about returning to work, and how I can be more productive and do better in a job, if that is even possible for me.

I like being productive and having a professional identity, and I feel like my current profession is a good fit and I like giving back to society.  However, I have always struggled with feeling overwhelmed working full-time.
More specifically, I almost always feel overwhelmed in each job I've held as I get more and more responsibility.  I am good at making to do lists and doing assignments that require the most priority first, but I always feel that I am pulled in too many different directions by different requirements in the job, and I feel kind of scattered.  When there is too much on my plate I have a lot of trouble remembering small details.  When there is too much on my plate I also struggle with being efficient and having good time management.

I have very low energy in general which I believe contributes greatly to some of these issues (have seen several doctors and specialists about this and had multiple blood tests), and the only thing that was ever found was low Vitamin D, for which I'm on supplements, but I don't feel any increase in my energy.  I have always been very low energy, so this isn't a new thing.  I feel like energy-wise, I don't have the energy to work full-time and take care of the house, let alone take care of our child, which is why I resigned to be a SAHM for now.  I would spend my weekends rushing around trying to do chores and errands, and feel exhausted going into work on Mondays, which wouldn't set a great tone for the week.  I would just be dragging through the days and feeling so exhausted when I'd come home that I would eat dinner and take a nap, just to get through the evening.  I know that I have unusually low energy levels, but am not sure what else I can do about that, but it definitely contributes to not doing as well at work as I'd like.

And I have never done well socially at work.  I have always felt like the one employee who is on the outside, and I feel like I never fit into the workplace socially.  I would see other employees stopping by each other's offices to chat, and people never stop by my office to chat, even though I would make a big effort to get to know people and be friendly.  I have never been well-liked by either employees or my bosses.  Socially I have had a tough time in this area.  DH and I moved here from out of state a few years ago and we did not know anyone in the area, so we have had a really hard time creating a social life.  Maybe co-workers can sense that I don't really have anyone here (besides DH) and don't want to get involved/include me.

Anyhow, I would really like to figure out why I have not been successful at any of my jobs because I would like to return to work but I want it to be a successful experience.  I am open to the idea that perhaps I have adult ADD that has never been diagnosed, that could be one possibility I have been thinking about.

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