Reply to Another divorce or stick it out plea for advice

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][b]
H and I usually get along, but there were a number of imbalances in the relationship that have been widened by stresses in the past year (he was lying, spending money, I was doing all earning/housework/shopping/finances/etc) and I'm having trouble seeing him as an equal.[/b] I asked him to go to therapy and I did the same. I also reached out to friends and family and church and started being honest with myself. My (single mom) therapist seems to be really rooting for a divorce, which I find disconcerting.
[/quote]

Well, you could look at this another way: even if you were attracted to your H, a lot of the stresses you describe would have decreased or eliminated your attraction to him anyway.  I would actually look into fixing these issues first.

I think what may cause you the most internal conflict is this idea that maybe you could have married someone who was a better match for you, but you didn't.  I am a little bit in the opposite situation- I was intensely in love and attracted to my DH, but we really didn't have a ton in common and over the years, I've thought to myself, "what if I married someone who had a lot in common with me?"  But I feel that at this point, it is so pointless and dumb to mourn for something I may have had instead of focusing on working with what I have.  I have invested years with DH, had children with him, etc.  Discovering new facts about your mental state is not a good enough reason to leave your spouse.[/quote]

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