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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]That would drive me crazy as well. Can't you tell your wife, "NO, it stays in the bag bc DD hit me and that is NOT acceptable" and move the bag out of her reach[/quote]

+100

And then have a conversation when both you and DW and you are calm and alone.

[b]Agree on 3 things  -
1) You will present a united front in front of kids and will not argue in front of them at all. If one parent says "NO" then it is a "NO" from the other parent too. Always ask "What did mommy/daddy say?"
2) What behavior is to be corrected, punished, ignored.  (In my house kids can eat in front of the TV in the family room - this will NOT fly in my brother's house. Everyone eats in the kitchen or the dining room - there are lots of great reasons to do that - yet it does not bother me when kids meander from one room to another snacking or eating)
3) Don't negotiate on bad behavior, don't change what you have said. So don't say "no" but change it in a few minutes when they start whining.[/b]
RECOGNIZE - you and your spouse have been raised in different households. You both react in few ways - 1) Your own emotional triggers (I do not care if kids eat dessert first - growing up we had to finish our meals and the dessert was sort of a "reward")   and 2) What YOU think is important (My DH froths when kids watch TV. He does not care if it is educational or entertainment)

Best of luck.

Do not raise a brat. Learn to say "no" to her now and you will teach her that the world does not revolve around her. She will then grow up to have healthy relationships with her own spouse and children and other people in her life.

[/quote]

This is good advice, but I think OP knows this. The problem seems to be with his wife's enforcement. OP, FWIW, my DH tells me sometimes that I do things like this, that "my word with the kids isn't strong enough," etc. My friends and I all agree that our (slightly older) kids listen more to our husbands than they do to us, and I know this is why.

You are going to have to work this out with your wife. A therapist, minister or parent consultant may be able to help, if that is needed. The bottom line is, she cannot undermine you when you set limits on your DD. If you are enforcing something, she has to back you up -- not give in to the whining and crying as she did in this example. That may be the first step. If you can get her to agree with that, the next step is having her enforce discipline on her own. 
l[/quote]

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