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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Funny. I want my DD's elementary school to really push my DD, who puts in very minimal effort and does the least she can possibly get away with, and they praise the shit out of her. When I went to the teacher and said, "She's going to fail this state capitol test" the teacher was all "Oh, I'm sure she'll do fine!" No, she failed. I ask and ask and ask for more, for help, for suggestions on how to light a fire under this kid's ass, and I have consistently, for years, been poo poo'd away.

So now I have a boring child with no drive. How do I enroll my daughter in THAT teacher's class? [/quote]

There are several issues going on here:
- lack of rigor
- low expectations
- inappropriate use of praise - which connects back to the two above

Our parent conference was the opposite. While my daughter does very well (clearly not at a "magnet" level of "well"), the teacher pointed out some areas to strengthen and encouraged US to do our part at home.

So your daughter is getting mixed message, and in cases like this, kids will take the easier path.  You can encourage her to work harder at home by offering her incentives.  For example, my daughter loves the iPad, but if she doesn't complete her work at a high level, she doesn't use the iPad.

But my question to you is this - If you knew she was going to fail the capitals' test, what role did YOU take in helping her study?  Did you expect the teacher to give them study time during the class?

I don't know the teacher's methods in instructing kids.  Some will just give them a list of states and capitals and expect them to study instead of focusing on why these areas were so significant - which allows them to anchor a name to an important event, for example.

But that's where you come in unfortunately.  Use an incentive to encourage your daughter to study. [/quote]

We studied the capitals together so much that *I* learned tons more than I'd known previously. Every morning and every evening on the train on our way to and from school I'd say, "Do you have your list/flashcards? Do you want to study?" and if she didn't bring them or didn't want to, then oh well. I absolutely have never praised her for accomplishments that are not impressive and have always praised efffort and results that come from effort. She truly just does not have any self-motivation at all. And the teacher, instead of failing her, just falls all over herself to make sure DD doesn't feel badly (when she SHOULD feel badly) and tells her she can take the test again next week.

I don't want the good grades on one report card. I want a human being who pushes herself and sets goals and works towards them. [/quote]

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