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[quote=Anonymous]My mother lives in a very remote, back country location with just her long time boyfriend.  She is over 65.

She resents it when we don't visit often enough.  She resents the time we do spend visiting my dad.

And yet when I DO take my kids to visit her, it's very apparent that it stresses her out and apparently makes her unhappy.

While visiting her, I was trying to strap a young kid into the car one day and having a hard time with the seat belt.  Admittedly, there was a lot going on with the kids, loading up, etc. I asked my mom to start the car because it was 20 degrees out and at least the car could be warming up while I do the strapping.  She screamed at me, I forget exactly what she said, something about me interrupting her or her train of thought.  I just pursed my lips, raised my eyebrows, and gave her my best, withering, disapproving mom look.  It stopped her cold.  I don't know on what planet it's OK to scream at someone like that.  I'm quite sure she would never use that tone of voice with anyone whose good opinion she cares about.

She doesn't like to come to my place because she get's stressed and anxious when she travels.  So I use my limited vacation and budget (single WOHM) to take the kids to visit her because she wants us to, and then she can't handle it.

I guess a hotel would be a possible solution but it would be very far from her remote location, and an additional expense of renting a car and getting a hotel room.

On top of all this when we visit my dad he and his wife are so welcoming, always encourage us to come, to stay as long as possible, will pick us up anywhere, any time, and we have a blast.

It's really bumming me out.  I love my mom but I don't enjoy being around her.  I don't know how to resolve the conflicting complaints - the spoken one of not seeing us enough of the unspoken one of it stressing her out to have "a lot of activity" as she calls it, around.   [/quote]

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