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[quote=Anonymous]We don't have kids yet (although we are thinking about TTC soon) but spending time with my inlaws got me thinking.  My MIL has serious problems with being a shopaholic, a bit of a hoarder, and just incredibly materialistic when it comes to collecting junk.  She is massively in debt because she can't stop buying toys and clothes for her grandchildren. She loves to spoil my nieces and nephew, but to the point where it is really a problem.  My SIL is just incredibly frustrated because she is overwhelmed by the volume of toys in her house (she has to do regular good will runs just to keep the house livable because my MIL will literally buy the kids a new toy nearly every day...and then they get into fights over that), she can't set any boundaries with her kids because if she tries to my MIL will undercut them, and the kids will literally be watching TV and point to something in a commercial and ask for it and my MIL will buy it. My MIL thinks that the kids should be able to wear a new outfit every day...I'm not even kidding.  My SIL has tried asking for her to start college accounts for the kids instead of buying so much stuff, but my MIL doesn't see the value of it (my husband's family all went to college on pell grants, scholarships, and loans, one on ROTC, all in state) because she doesn't really understand money and she sees paying for college as not parents/grandparents responsibility.  I imagine one saving grace for us is that we don't live nearby so if she wants to buy stuff for our kids she will have to ship it, but my god.  I think it is wonderful that she is so doting and loving and generous, but it is to the point where the best of intentions are just misguided because a) she is in an awful financial situation and b) my SIL struggles with getting her kids to appreciate presents and gifts, deal with hearing no, etc.

Does anyone have in-laws or parents like this?  What are your strategies for dealing with it?  Right now my plan is to continue living far away from my in-laws just to get some distance from it, unlike my SIL who only lives an hour away.[/quote]

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