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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I had a miscarriage earlier this year and was due right around now. I'm not pregnant again despite actively ttc for half a year. Happily married, successful, educated, financially secure, blah blah blah. Just saw on Facebook that my college roommate who has two older kids, is recently divorced, has been using serious drugs for the past year, barely knows the baby daddy, and is otherwise a total wreck had a baby today. I realize I should be grateful not to have her effed up life but all I keep thinking is where is the justice in the universe if she is now a mother of three and I am having such a hard time having a baby. How do I get past these feelings??[/quote]
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There is no justice in the universe.  That's how you get past it.

So much is random, even success.  It's not like someone who is financially secure is somehow a better person and is being rewarded and the person who is destitute deserved the ir poverty.

I have a cousin who meets a similar profile to your college roommate.  And I don't get upset with the universe.  I actually get angry with her.  She should have been using contraceptives.  It's fine if she lives the life she lives, and I don't judge about that.  But I do get upset when people who are in no position to raise a child well don't at least practice birth control.

For me, my overwhelming sympathy for the poor kid she is having would override my feelings of jealousy.

But beyond that, stop seeing fertility as a reward/punishment.  It is just a circumstance, an unfortunate one at that.  Every now and again I get upset about how some shallow, superficial, greedy people always have things go their way, but other perfectly nice people get so much heartache and grief.  I've realized fairly recently that I'm less inclined to dwell on such things when I accept that the universe isn't a just, perfectly fair and reasonable place.  there is no great and powerful Oz who monitors the affairs of humans and doles out good things to those who behave and bad things to those who don't.  Instead, our universe is only order at the macro level of systems but chaos at the micro level of individual organisms.  [/quote]

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