Reply to Bystnader to an abusive relationship

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]How do you know this is the case?  Do you socialize with SIL at all?

Or are you only hearing your brother's side?

[b]It takes two to tango. [/b]

How old are the kids, btw?[/quote]

NP here. I agree that we're only hearing one side, but if the genders were reversed, it would draw more alarm. I do think this is abusive, and certainly not healthy behavior.

Also, "it takes two to tango" is a classic abuser line. It's fair to assume we're only getting one side, but those kinds of excuses help no one. You can be sure that if OP's post were about a sister and controlling/manipulative BIL, that you such a line would be total victim blaming. [/quote]

I'm not blaming the victim necessarily.  But to be honest, if the husband/brother is miserable, there's no sense in staying in the marriage.  So yes, I do blame him for being spineless.  The kids will suffer more in this situation knowing that both parents are not happy.  So he's not doing his kids any favors.
[b]
And what if the OP and her other siblings (are there others?) are simply overprotective?  I've seen that, too - siblings interfering too much. [/b]

Again, we only have one side.[/quote]

Again, this is classic abuser-speak - other people are interfering and are over protective, and should mind their own business. Nothing about OP's post speaks of either. [/quote]

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