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Reply to "Bystnader to an abusive relationship"
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[quote=Anonymous]Good advice so far - regarding the 'two to tango' line: While there is some meat in your argument, saying it more kindly might help it stick. Basically - the abused are susceptible to being in an abused relationship because of previous factors - childhood, personality, previous trauma, etc. It's very hard for folks to just up and change into a magical picture of emotional health. Through experiences and self reflection one can change but again, it's hard. Like PPs said - you have to want it. As a bystander - support without judgement is the fastest way to allow for a space to heal. Never say anything ill or damaging to the abuser. Never be supportive either - be neutral. Pinning yourself between the abuser and it's victim adds an extra dimension that lengthens the time it takes to extricate a loved one from this scenario. Good luck to you. Maintain a safe but supportive distance and when it's time to jump ship you'll be there. Good luck.[/quote]
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