Reply to Bystnader to an abusive relationship

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]How do you know this is the case?  Do you socialize with SIL at all?

Or are you only hearing your brother's side?

[b]It takes two to tango. [/b]

How old are the kids, btw?[/quote]

NP here. I agree that we're only hearing one side, but if the genders were reversed, it would draw more alarm. I do think this is abusive, and certainly not healthy behavior.

Also, "it takes two to tango" is a classic abuser line. It's fair to assume we're only getting one side, but those kinds of excuses help no one. You can be sure that if OP's post were about a sister and controlling/manipulative BIL, that you such a line would be total victim blaming. [/quote]

I'm not blaming the victim necessarily.  But to be honest, if the husband/brother is miserable, there's no sense in staying in the marriage.  So yes, I do blame him for being spineless.  The kids will suffer more in this situation knowing that both parents are not happy.  So he's not doing his kids any favors.

And what if the OP and her other siblings (are there others?) are simply overprotective?  I've seen that, too - siblings interfering too much.

Again, we only have one side.[/quote]

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