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[quote=Anonymous]How do you support a sibling who has an abusive spouse?

My brother's wife is very emotionally and verbally abusive. She has a major anger management problem and takes her wrath out on my brother. She is very controlling and demeaning, and says truly terrible things to him. My brother has become a shell of who he was and basically his spirit is broken. He always wants us to do things that will make her happy so that she won't explode - basically to placate her and give her what she wants to keep her happy. Whenever we suggest he stand up for himself or do something for himself or meet his own needs - he just tells us that we don't understand and that doing any of that will just make his life worse. we don't really talk about it much anymore but he looked awful when we saw him this holiday. His wife can be an absolutely charming person and only directs her anger at him.  They have young kids and he now really wants to keep her happy to protect the kids from her anger so he puts all his energy into anticipating her needs/wants so she doesn't get upset. It is really pathetic to watch, and embarrassing for him but better than the alternative.

Any suggestions?[/quote]

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