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[quote=Anonymous]Our children are young-- one in first grade and three others under age 4. All of our family is local so the children get to see, visit and spend time with grandparents on both sides regularly as well as other family members. For a decent amount of time, the children have been able to stay at my in laws over night. Every time I (mother) get there to pick them up, the oldest three throw a major temper tantrum and are really mean to me. They basically say that they don't want to go home with me and that they want to stay with their grandmother. This tantrum will last anywhere from 10-20 minutes and instead of helping me get the children out of the house and to the car, MIL says nothing and instead allows them to continue to hug on her and scream. I believe she likes the attention and I know for a fact she despises me. That's a whole different post though. But, regardless of our issues, I have not let it interfere with her relationship and the time she spends with our children.

Today, I went to pick up the children again after spending 2 nights with her and FIL. They threw a fit again and were very mean. I got them ready through the fit, gathered up their belongings and we left. I feel a need to put a stop to the attitude and tantrums toward me. I think I need to keep them away from MILS/FILS house until they can respect me. As any other Mom, I am their Mother and not their friend. DH works a ton and isn't home so I am Mom and Dad. I do discipline, night routine, homework, make them pick up their toys/clean their rooms, ect. We have fun as a family (vacation, day trips out, play dates, ect.) however, we aren't able to do as much as MIL/FIL because I SAH and our income won't allow it. Every time the kids go to MIL/FILs they are taken to dinner and lunch, shopping and normally something special is taking place in our hometown that they go to as well. I get it that I am not as "fun" as them and that I have to be Mom. I also realize that it isn't that my children truly don't like me-- they cuddle with me at home, want me when they are sick, get excited when I come to school functions. We all have a good relationship. BUT-- they aren't spoiled by DH and I and we have rules.

Our oldest is old enough to understand that she chooses her actions. I'd like to take away spending the night/going to play at Grandma's until they can respect me. They each need to understand that there will be a time to come home and that they WILL and CAN eventually come back. We all live close so it isn't a matter of them only getting to see them a couple of times a year. All I want is when I come to pick you up for you to gather your things, say goodbye and go to the car. I'm not asking for them to kiss all over me and be excited to go home, I just want respect and obedience. MIL/FILs is the *only* house that the children act this way at, BTW. I'm also wondering what you all think about MIL not interfering with how they are acting. I know she isn't their mother but at the same time, I feel she could be saying "_____ you need to get your shoes on and calm down. You will come back but right now it is time to go". Or, something. Thoughts? [/quote]

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