Reply to Husband plans going to a strip club but telling me he isn't

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Reply to "Husband plans going to a strip club but telling me he isn't"

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, how did you find the message? What level of snooping was going on? Was this a "DH forgot to log out of his email on the family computer and I happened to see an email about this" or a "I checked his phone while he was in the shower" situation?

You need to talk to your husband. Apologize for invading his privacy and reading his messages, even if it was an accident. If you are more upset that he felt like he had to lie to you in order to plan the thing he knows his friend wants, tell him that. If you are still holding the line on the strip club issue, tell him that. I personally think that you need to let the strip club issue go. I think bachelor parties at strip clubs are ridiculous, sexist and completely unnecessary and would never personally organize one, but they are hardly uncommon. Insisting that your husband not organize the party that you know his friend wants is basically asking him to lie to you. Which he has now done, unsurprisingly.

I would be more concerned about this "tight leash" that you feel like you need to keep each other on. There's a difference between having your spouse's password and using that password regularly. I have my husband's password to a variety of things. I do not make a habit of checking in on his accounts, because I trust him. Part of that trust is openness in communication such that if he did go to a strip club for a bachelor party, he would not be concealing the whole plan from me in a way that could lead to hiding other things.

It sounds like you do not want your husband to ever be exposed to or even think about other women in sexual situations. You do realize that this is both crazy and impossible to ask of another adult, right?[/quote]

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