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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Why does your brother's ex get to make the decision about his ashes if they were divorced 8 years ago? I would think his next of kin would be your parents and then his siblings. Anyway, you need to tell you H how you feel and that he is being insensitive and that makes you sad and angry.[/quote]

I would think that it's because she's the guardian of his heir -- minor child.[/quote]

This is exactly the situation. No my brother did not beat her or rape her, but he used their home as collateral in some business deal and they declared bankrupcy, sold the home, she left with their daughter and filed for divorce. It was very acrimonious and she was very angry (and I don't think unjustifiably.)

But my position is that he was my brother. My father and I deserve to be able to commemorate the best parts of him: he was very optimistic and always thought a better day was coming, he was tireless in learning and trying new things, he was like a phoenix in that things that would have devastated another person did not set him back... I know he wasn't perfect; but who is? I feel my father and I should not be shut out of making very important things: like what to do with his personal affects (she dumped everythign in his apartment at goodwill and would not let my father or I help her or take any personal items). It's small but it's so upsetting... I want to cry every day.[/quote]

That is terrible, that she did not let you take his things to remember him. And bankruptcy is not that serious of an offense to warrant such heartless behavior. Please stay strong.[/quote]

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