Reply to Grandparents coming in for first grandchild--tension already

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This comes up over and over again on these boards. Here is my take on your situation:

1. It does seem a little rude to say they can only stay for a few days when they will be flying cross country.

2. In my opinion you should propose the following: parents stagger their visits and can stay with you. You set very clear guidelines ahead of time though that they will not be traditional guests - you will absolutely not be catering to them. And you expect them to help out a great deal if they are staying with you during such a challenging time. If they are not up for helping, they stay in a hotel and only come by briefly to visit. [/quote]

OP here.  I hear what you're saying but wouldn't it also be a bit rude to "insist" that they be helpful during their stay, since that has not been how our visits have gone in the past, where they've always expected to be catered to?  Can I really say "you can only stay with us if you're willing to help out and give me my privacy when needed" (to breastfeed, for instance).  My husband is super helpful and is capable of taking care of everything else while I take care of the baby.

As for the idea of staggering their visits, that is a good idea but who gets to come first?  My parents would like to visit me in the hospital with the baby, but MIL also wants to see her first grandchild ASAP.  So not sure how that would work since both are coming in from far distances.[/quote]

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