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[quote=Anonymous]My parents live about 3 hours away - they just moved a few years ago, into a 55+ golf-and-booze community.  They love it and are living it up.
However, I have a number of concerns, and they are all compounded by the fact that we are not emotionally close, and I keep them at arm's length as a self protective gesture (long story... but they didn't abuse me or anything).

They are in their mid-60's and neither is in great health.  Hip replacement, shoulder surgery, knees blown out, lots of arthritis and high blood pressure and high cholesterol.
A vague mention of "the cardiologist scared me" recently... but when pressed, will only say "Oh, I'm sure it's nothing to worry about.  Let's talk about something else!"

For all intents and purposes I am an only child, so I WILL have to address this sooner or later.  They have insurance, and savings, but since they have just recently moved into this (single-level) house it will take an act of god to get them to move closer.

We have a close relative with a history of drugs, violence, and manipulating my parents for all they're worth.  This relative lives with them frequently.  My nightmare scenario is that Scary Relative offs them, makes off with their money, and nobody knows for weeks - I easily go 2 weeks at a time without talking to them.

Something happened just recently where I thought that this was a real possibility... literally I was hours away from jumping in a car to go check on them.  When my mother finally bothered to pick up the phone, she laughed off my concerns and instead told me a "funny story" about a neighbor who died and nobody found them for five days.  Yay.

I need to have this conversation with them.  If you have sole "responsibility" for your aging parent, who does not live within easy "check on them twice a week" distance, what arrangements have you made?  Any suggestions here?  How did you discuss this, esp with parents who don't see it as an issue?[/quote]

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