Reply to Would you be upset if parent's inheritance went to your kids instead of you?

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[quote=Anonymous]Long post … but basically, I am trying to gauge whether my hurt feelings is warranted. Would you be upset you if your parent(s) plan to completely cut you out of any inheritance, and leave it to your children (their grandchildren) instead of you?

To give some background … My mother finally admitted to me (although I always had a feeling) that she is planning on leaving most of her inheritance to my children, some to her sisters, and absolutely none to me because she does not like my husband. I understand her ill feelings towards my husband, who at times can be selfish; however, I am very hurt that she is completely cutting me out since I have remained close to her and for the most part we get along. I am the only child. I talk to her at least a couple times a week and see her at least once a week. I know she wants me to see her more, but I work full-time so it is difficult for me. My concern wrt the inheritance distribution is … my DD, my oldest who is in college, currently is very materialistic (example: She has at least 5x more designer purses than me, and she always has my mom buy or give her things). She very rarely calls my mom. I am closer to my mom than she is. My other two children are very young (beginnings of elementary school). I hope they grow responsibly, but time will tell. I would hate to see my mother’s inheritance spent irresponsibly or unappreciatively.

Although I am currently financially stable, we have always been on a tight budget. Up until recently we had full-time childcare expenses and we fully paid for my daughters education ($160k+). In future, we may have 2 more college expenses as well. My mother has never helped with neither my DD nor my own education expenses, nor would I expect her to. I would love to be a stay-at-home mom, but I have to work for my family’s health insurance and if I didn’t work we would not be able to pay for my DD’s college. I made a lot of sacrifices for the grandkids she loves. I love her as well. But I have always felt she was sadistic towards me. I think her intentions validate she doesn’t really love me. I have never asked her for money. She has always given my children more than me, which I have greatly appreciated. But when she passes, friends and relatives will question why she cut me out of her Will when we seemed so close.  Yes, I did confront her wrt my feelings, and she said I was just jealous so she would just leave everything to charity so I wouldn’t be jealous of my own kids. Am I wrong to be utterly hurt by this?
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