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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]DW and I are debating this and wanted to get some wider opinions.

We are two Feds, both work full time out of the house -- no telework, no part-time, both jobs downtown DC.

With two DC we are always scrambling, and every week there seem to be events or logistics required at our elementary school. There seem like a lot of SAHM near us (close in NoVa) but their working spouse is generally big law or entrepreneur.

Our debate is that I believe the logistics of having one parent 'home' during day dominate even two parent working households.  Maybe some place like Vienna or Rockville or Davidsonville we would find more two mid-level professionals. But I believe you will generally have one spouse part-time or a teacher, working right near the home or having substantial telework days (or even WaHM). Or they live near family who can handle logistics while both working parents downtown.

Numbers wise we are talking 150k -200k income, good public schools. So how do people make this work and where do they live?  Basically kids are in daycare or aftercare most of day and parents don't get to stop in for fun activity of the week.  We feel bad when DC sees our absence while others there, but we live here now b/c it affords the shortest commute.  [/quote]

All (and I mean all) the double Fed couples I know stagger their work hours.  One stays later in the morning and comes home later- they other goes in at the crack of dawn and gets home earlier.  This has the added bonus of giving the kids some parent time with each parent.  Figuring out a way for the early bird to stay late one night a week if they have to - helps.  Once your kids get to ES, if they have an earlier ES start time, some are able to eliminate before school care but all use after care to about 4:30 or 5:00pm.  IME and IMO, this schedule is doable with organization.

Doing small (and not so small) things like:

1)The early bird puts a load of laundry in before he/she early bird leaves in the am and having the late bird put it in the dryer.  Then fold and put away in the evening.  Rather than letting things get to the point where 4 loads have to be done at once on the weekend.

2) Hiring an every other week cleaning lady.  It helps more than just haviong the cleaning done.  You don't feel guilty about not cleaning because you know it will be clean in a few days.  Teach the kids to wipe down the bathrooms - daily or weekly or in between.

3) Whenever you make something for dinner- double the recipe and put it in the freezer.  Then you only have to "cook" every other night.  Plan your meals- do easy stuff on heavy ativity nights  or use on  of the dinners you have frozen. Run your dishwasher once a day- in the evening.  If your children are 3 or 4 have one of the kid set the table before they go to school in the morning.  Have the other unload the dishwasher in the morning (as much as their height will allow - short ladders work very well).

4) When they are older, have a set place for your kids to do homework.  If they do best in the their room, then have them do it in their room.  If not, set up a designated area in the family room.

5) Make lists and only go grocery shopping once or twice a week.  Plan your errands on the weekend - divide and conquer.  Try to have a weeknight where you can get some errands done.

6) Set up Friday night to be family pizza night (make homemade- easy fixings from Trader Joes) or pick up.  Have a date night at least every other week - even if it is lunch.

7) Cull the number of activities.  2 per kid.  If you find you can do more you can add one more per kid.  This works for almost every age.
 
8) Are either of your workplaces near shopping- you may be able to do some the errands over your lunch hours.

9) Have each parent plan two full vacation days to be "special activity" days.  You can usually work it so that you only have to take a half day to participate- then each parent can go to 3-4 "special days" each year.   This is more than enough.

10) Try to have each parent set aside time to read to each child every day.  This is helpful with learning, the parent/child relationship and helps calm and slow things down and offers a nice transition from frenetic day to calming/soothing time.  It is helpful for both the parent and the child to slow down.

11)  Sweep the kitchen floor every night.  Kids can help with this too (although yoiu may need to do it again after they are in bed until they master it).

Is it possible to have the daycare be close to your work, rather than your home?  When I worked downtown near L'Enfant, my DC was in the DOE day care center.  I could come during the day for "special events" and go back to work.  [/quote]

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