Reply to Niece isn't Nice..., Worrying about spending time with DD

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Thanks guys particularly 10:14.  It was a very thoughtful response and yes I do worry about substance abuse.  Both of BIL's parents died from substance abuse and his family is full of similar sad stories.

I don't think my MIL/SIL or BIL would ever tell me if their daughter had an incident (particularly if it were at their house and my daughter was around) as they would know it would be a deal killer for me. Every year/interaction my antenna's go up a little higher.  I don't think there is substance abuse yet.

I guess if it gets worse...we will just do as you recommend, have plans over Christmas so they can't spend as much time together.

[/quote]OP, is BIL a blood relative of your kids? If so, your kids may share in a genetic heritage of being predisposed to addiction. In that case, it doesn't matter if you never let them see their cousins, they can still have problems with addiction.  Or not.  There's no way to predict it.  But regardless I think it's important to educate your kids about addiction.  Yeah, there's the danger that their cousins might seem like shiny cool kids in their eyes but ultimately your kids may have to deal with substance abuse issues themselves and it's better if you as their parent address it with them directly.

I am the daughter of an alcoholic.  I quit drinking years ago and dd was raised in an alcohol-free house.  Didn't matter.  She went off to college and quickly got lost in drinking her freshman year away.  She's doing great now but what helped her was not growing up in an alcohol-free house so much as hearing enough about the family predisposition so that when it took over her life she recognized it sooner rather than later.

Not saying this will all happen to you and your family, just that we all want to protect our kids and control their exposure to bad influences but bad things can happen anyway.  Talk to your kids about their cousins.  Educate them.  Good luck![/quote]

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