Reply to Surviving the holidays with the passive aggressive

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "Surviving the holidays with the passive aggressive"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]Since we all live different places, my family rents a place for T-giving as a central location to get together.  My oldest  sister definitely likes to call the shots but I'm tired of the passive-aggressive way she does it.

Where we go is rural, so pretty much everything is 30+ minutes away.  We bring food, so we don't go out for every meal.  One year, we all did a morning excursion.  Afterwards the families headed back for lunch.  My oldest sister decides that she wants to go out for lunch with her family in another town.   She didn't mention it to anyone and had the only key to where the food for everyone is kept.

Thinking maybe they got lost, we were waiting 45 minutes with young, cranky, hungry kids b/f my other sister finally reached her via cell asking where they were   We had to scrounge something at a gas station to get them something to eat b/c by that time the closest restaurant or grocery store was too far.  They were gone 3 hours, and there was never any acknowledgement of inconveniencing everyone else.  The following year, I mentioned to her to please leave the key at the rental which you're actually supposed to b/c we were scrambling for lunch.  Stony silence, followed by, "I didn't realize you held a grudge."  (No, just didn't want a repeat.)

Another year, my parents  suggested a particular excursion and everyone "seemingly" agreed.  Just we arrived in the parking lot, she texts saying she wants to go somewhere else .  She didn't actually stop but just drove onto the place she wanted to go but didn't mention earlier when we discussed plans.

My parents had already gone in and paid.  They don't have text capability on their phone, which we all know.  My other sister hurled her kids back in the car b/c her DD wanted to be with my oldest sister's DD.  I decided not to ditch my parents.   My 4 year old started to cry b/c none of her cousins were with her and was upset the entire time.   My oldest sister is un-phased that this was rude to my parents and unfair to my kid.  Plus the families spent one day of a weekend visit in different places instead of being together.

Last year, I suggested a particular activity for the kids via email and everyone replied agreement.  That day she said she called the number on the website, and the person said they weren't open.  I thought this strange.  I called myself, was redirected to another phone number, which I called. They were open.  Obviously she hadn't called, she just didn't want to do it and actually lied.

My parents like to go for breakfast on the last day.  We usually join them but couldn't this year and told them when they asked.  The night b/f and that morning, my dad kept asking my oldest sister if she'd like to go for breakfast.  She never does, and I can understand if they just want to hit the road.  But she never gives a straight answer.  He kept asking, would you want to go to X place.  "No, we didn't really like the food there."  Would you like to go to Y?  "No, we don't think that restaurant is very clean."

I finally turned to my dad and said, "I don't think Larla wants to go for breakfast."  My sister looks offended and said, "That's not true."  I said, "Well just let him know where you want to go then."  Needless to say, she didn't go to breakfast.

I'm guessing that she's mad at me for this b/c I emailed her when we got back some info she wanted and it's radio silence.  (Usually she responds to every email even if they're breezy replies.)  She's got a lot of great qualities but this  aspect of her personality is getting worse and really draining, especially combined with a holiday and travel.  There doesn't seem to be any direct way to address this with her either.   I'm just tapped out.

[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics