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[quote=Anonymous]Here is why I think it is unique:

We've been married, mostly happily, for about 12 years. Like all marriages our sex life (from my perspective) has been amazing at times, and very weak at other times. I'm a normal guy. But my wife simply doesn't enjoy sex. Many times, she even finds it uncomfortable, if not painful. I attribute this to poor sex education as a child. She was raised to believe that it is taboo. On top of that, I know there are some physical issues too that I can't really describe in detail.

So this is bad news for me. I have a partner that tolerates sex, but rarely enjoys the act itself. Of course, she enjoys the intimacy and other things that go along with having sex though.

The good news is that she lets me dictate every aspect of sex. I pretty much get to decide how much, when, how long, etc. She is quite willing even if she is tired or not in the mood. As explained above, she is rarely truly "in the mood". The best part is that I NEVER have to have sex when I don't want to. She never demands it. I can imagine that most people have to do it to please their partner even when they are not up for it, but I have NEVER experienced this problem. This is a huge plus I think.

This dynamic has resulted in years of rather boring and fast sex. We mostly use the same position. There is very little variety of any kind. I know sex is not like a porn movie or even a Hollywood movie, but I'm pretty sure it should be more exciting than what we have been doing. Sometimes I am happy enough with this but sometimes, I want more excitement. Sometimes, I'd rather masturbate to thoughts of other women. This is probably normal, but sometimes I even want to cheat or find a mistress (which I obviously know would be a very bad thing).

So based on the above, is this a terrible sex life? Or does the good part about it outweigh the bad parts? Any opinions/advice? Should I simply be happy with what I've got?

I suspect some will recommend counseling or better communication regarding sexual desires. I hate the idea of counseling. We have talked about it in the past and have pretty much settled for the boring and fast sex. When I try to demand more variety, it clearly makes her uncomfortable, so we revert back to the basics.
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