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[quote=Anonymous]My husband is amazing and we have a wonderful marriage. His mother is a mess. She is depressed. She is a functioning alcoholic and overeats. She is terribly bitter about her divorce nearly 30 years ago from my FIL. She is nosy, pessimistic, and cannot keep her mouth shut or keep a confidence.  She is chronically unhappy. She finds negativity in everything. She recognizes that she is unhappy but can never stick to any kind of plan to turn things around. She is weird and has a victim mentality and an odd worldview. She has very few friends and they are strange. She sucks the life out of me. I am very respectful to her and our relationship is civil and, at times, pleasant. I have never had a fight with her. At the end of the day I know she is sad, lonely, and has a terribly low self-esteem. The problem is that I feel guilty that I cannot find a way to be closer with her for my husband's sake. I am outgoing and close with my family and many friends. I don't have enemies. I tend to be a pleaser who goes out of her way to get along and go along. I love being around people. I just cannot connect with my MIL on any plane and, at 35 with a young baby and a demanding career, don't see it happening ever.  She lives in another state. My husband talks with her about once per week. They are not very close but of course he loves her. I know she is a source of sadness and worry for my husband. I just have a visceral dislike for her that I cannot overcome...it is to the point where I have to remind myself that she raised my husband and cannot be all that bad just to keep myself from screaming when I am in a room with her.  I am filled with a mixture of pity, irritation, and disgust for her.

So what do I do? I feel like a failure for feeling this way. Especially now that we have a baby my lack of a close relationship with her is even more glaring. [/quote]

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