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[quote=Anonymous]Yes on counseling for you and for both of you.

[quote]
 I asked him tonight what can we do to make our relationship better…..his response…..umm I don't know.[/quote]

So, from a male perspective, there are a few reasons why you might've gotten this answer:

(1) The concept of "making the relationship better" might be too big for him, but if you itemized specific things that you want to improve, he could probable come up with ideas;

(2) Frequently men feel like they get set up by questions like this. They answer and then the DW tells them they're wrong. Many men do their best to avoid answering open-ended questions like this because they know that odds are the person asking the question has an answer in mind and is waiting to see if the man provides the "correct" answer;

(3) He might actually already be checked out and not care; or

(4) He might not see a problem and might like things basically the way they are.

[quote] I can't remember the last time we had sex or even a sensual hug or kiss. ... I don't think he is attracted to me any more….I have gained 20lbs or so and he is not pleased with this.[/quote]

How often do you initiate these, or are you just waiting for him to do it? My DW has made it clear we will have sex when she feels like it, so I don't bother initiating. I'd prefer that we do it a LOT more (since we're on about a once-every-6-weeks schedule), but I know that's not going to happen. If you start initiating with your DH, more will happen.

That aside, if he's genuinely lost attraction for you because you gained 20 lbs., there's also just a good chance he's a superficial ass.

[quote]His job is more demanding then mine, so I deal with all things related to children and house upkeep as well. That being said, my job can be demanding and timeline driven adding to my stress. None the less, I am there for my kids and ensure I support them in the ways that I think they need. [/quote]

Ok, so if his job is more demanding, then you won't be 50/50 on the childcare/housecare stuff, but he doesn't get a free pass. He has to do his share, too. If you take all of it, he's getting a free ride.

One thing to remember is that our first source of education for how a married couple allocates responsibilities is our parents. If he came from a home where dad was the breadwinner and mom stayed at home and did everything for the children and house, that's his default model. He needs to realize that his family doesn't work that way and he's being unfair to you. [/quote]

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