Reply to Pressure from estranged grandparents wanting contact with grandkids and me

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[quote=Anonymous]I think the only way this would work is if you accept them for who they are.  Have low to no expectations. Be ready to leave at a moment's notice.  And then see if this is a relationship you want to pursue or not.  You may be surprised and things may go better than you expect.  Or things may be more of the same and you gave it a try and never look back.

I have a similar story to you and left my parents at 17 to live with a friend.  It was also " all my fault" and they clearly didn't even care i was gone.  We didn't speak for years.  THen my mom was always trying to give me money.  We actually had a big blow-up once and it was terrible, but maybe it needed to happen.  She tried to justify the abuse ( and i think she may even feel it was justified, not sure).  So that was the end of that again and I didn't speak to them for a while.  And then years later I visited on a holiday with my boyfriend ( now husband).  They were very welcoming and wanted to make an effort.  And now I see them somewhat regularly and my kids love them.  THey are very nice to my kids ( which is weird because of how they treated me when I was a kid), but i'm glad they are nice to my kids.  And it's better than it was and I'm glad we have a relationship.  I try to love them for who they are and make the best of things.  I don't let them babysit my kids or get too involved.  I want them to be happy and if I can add to that happiness then it makes me happy to do so.  Boundaries are set with me.  If things ever changed then I would cut it off.  It's definitely not a normal situation, but it is surprisingly getting more normal.  My brother and I have talked about it and he thinks they truly have forgotten or blocked a lot of things out.  [/quote]

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