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[quote=Anonymous]My dad did a very strange thing when I had my first baby 4 yrs ago. About 6m after I had DD, my father started projecting all his issues from his divorce with my mom on me. For context, they divorced when I was 2yrs old and he was a long distance, vacay dad, paying a paltry amount of child support but was involved in my life via weekly phone calls. I convinced myself he deeply loved me but just lived far away and was told my mom was keeping him from being more involved (not true I found out much later in life). He has been remarried 4 times since, so he doesn't have a great track record with women.

Anyway, I would have thought he would have moved on from his issues with my mom long ago. I finally wrapped my head around what was going on when he tried to get my DH to gang up with him against me, trying to pidgeon hole me as a "nag" and the ol' ball and chain type, and saying generalized statements to DH about how wives "suck." My lovely DH felt so awkward!!! During one visit, father cornered my husband and ranted about my mother for literally 2 hours without taking a breath. DH didnt want to be disrespectful to his FIL and just let him go on and on. My father has frequently yelled at me when I set even the most basic boundaries, i.e. asking him not to post our address and pictures of our kids online, and he lies often.

Father and I almost never speak now as a result and he ahs never met my youngest child. As he does with any woman he has ever been close to, he incessently bad mouths me to his side of my family. And his 85yr old mother further encourages this behavior. I used to be close to his side of the family but they all sided with my dad without being present for any of these interactions. I know these are his issues ...but it still hurts to know a father could be so unsupportive of his adult daughter. And I feel so isolated now.

What's up with him? Is he a total lost cause at 60? Has anyone had their dad play out their past divorce issues with your mom through you as an adult? [/quote]

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