Reply to Blended family - does a stepmom have a 'say' in anything?

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Reply to "Blended family - does a stepmom have a 'say' in anything?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP again - I think I am just feeling like my life is now dictated by 2 Tweens.....I thought my H and I would be making these decisions together as parents versus me just being told - this is what the kids want to do - so we are doing it. I feel like there should be some compromise from someone besides just me in this family.....I wanted a blended family....to make joint decisions for the good of all of us....not just the older kids. I want some control over our life and a say in planning our weekends or time or events.,or how our money is spent. I feel like I come last.

So maybe all parents feel this way - kids make the plans.

Or do husbands and wives of joint biological child make these decisions together and consider each other's needs/opinions?[/quote]

DH and I have 2 bio kids and I have 2 older step kids from his previous marriage.  I have no say in the older kids activities, nor should I.  But you bring up an interesting point about biological children.  Yes, my kids and I make decisions about their activities without consulting DH.  The kids are 6 and 3.  I enroll the 3 yr old in Little Gym and do not consult DH.  My 6 yr old tells me she wants to do swimming and diving so I enroll her.  The only time I discuss the kids Activites with DH is if I need agreement because of transportation.  For the winter, both of our kids have to be in 2 different places at the same time.  I can't do that alone so I consulted with DH.  But if I don't need him for transportation then it's not discussed.  If we want to go away for the weekend, we discuss the kids schedules and what they will miss.  Then we try to find a time when the kids are on an activity break.[/quote]

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