Reply to Goodness - advice or something like that, please

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[quote=Anonymous]Cheating is terrible, of course - but IMO, violence is worse. Not to diminish what you're going through, but I thought it was worth saying because you made that statement about it being the worst thing. Maybe not.

And there are "better" and "worse" ways to be cheated on, even though obviously it's never good.

It sounds like your situation was one of the "better" ones as far as these things go. If I was in his shoes, I would have been really hurt by your reluctance to move. By about Month 3, I would have been sure it was over between us. You didn't move until Month 10.

Not that this excuses cheating! But...it's a context that most cheating situations don't have, and one that makes it a little more understandable.

A good friend of mine stayed with a cheater. They had a rough couple of years, but now are doing very well. Frankly, I thought she was kind of crazy at the time (though I kept my opinion to myself) but they had 3 kids together, he was sorry, and she really didn't want to do the single mom thing. Now it looks like she made the right call, since they're happy. So it can be done. It definitely took lots of therapy and a lot of work on the trust issue, though. It never really goes away, it just gets more manageable over time, apparently.[/quote]

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