Reply to Goodness - advice or something like that, please

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[quote=Anonymous]Having lived through this, I can tell you that you can recover and things can be very good again. But yes, it will always be there to some degree and only you can decide if you can live with it. Counseling, individual and couples, can help immensely with that.

I did want to address your comment that cheating is the worst thing you can do to your partner though.  I actually can think of many worse things than what it sounds like he did. A brief, not emotionally involved fling while you were physically and emotionally distant, which he owned up to and accepts responsibility for? Compared to years long affairs, partners who get caught and then continue the affair while gas lighting their partner, multiple high risk encounters-this isn't such a terrible crime. Compared to hidden gambling problems, drug addictions, physical or verbal abuse, reckless spending, etc-again, this pales in comparison.

People do make mistakes. It's hard to know sometimes if situations like this are a one time mistake or the start of a pattern. There is no right or wrong answer, and most people who think there is a bright line have never lived through it. There is only the answer that feels right for you-and screw what anyone else thinks. You also don't need to decide today-you can take some time to make a decision and to figure out what ou want.[/quote]

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