Reply to Enjoy the present. If things go the way you fear, we'll deal with it then. (A vent)

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Reply to "Enjoy the present. If things go the way you fear, we'll deal with it then. (A vent)"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]That's putting too much on you - "show him an alternate reality and incentivize him not to drink by making him invested in what we have now". I don't even know what that means, exactly. Your therapist does not sound experienced in this area. Al-anon would probably be more helpful to you at this point.[/quote]

OP here.  He has this whole theory about how people are not linear, so that something that has nothing to do with anything can cause an improvement.  So, if things are better between us and I act like I enjoy his company and keep things good between us, that can cause him to want to hang on to that and not to drink.

Although now that I just typed that, does this sound like a recipe for codependence to anyone else?  How do you draw the line between it being their choice and you continuing to believe (foolishly) that somehow if you are different it will change things?  Eek.

For the PP who said I was a drunk, you must not be married to someone like my DH.  This is somebody who if he makes a mistake driving somewhere it is my fault even if he was following his GPS that he programmed and I was not even paying attention.  So of course I have a drinking problem, too.  We're all equal at my house, at least in bad things.  In good things, those seem to run only to him somehow.  [/quote]

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