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[quote=Anonymous]Boy, do I have experience with this.  The worse substance abusers are dead because of it (including 2 of my brothers).  You have to learn to separate yourself from it so you don't get dragged down into it.  It's really hard because you love them and want to help.  But, it's not helping them, it's enabling them.  Big difference.  It took me a very long time to really accept that difference and even longer to get over the guilt.  You have to do what you have to do to maintain your own health and well being.  Sometimes that's cutting them off completely, sometimes that's not letting it hurt your feelings when they don't show up for something -  you have to stop expecting things of them.  Of course, there will be people (and family members!) who will say "oh, he's family!  How can you do that?" or "I can't imagine treating a family member that way!".  They just don't get it.  It's not about 'family'.  It's about your own sanity. I never did Ala-Non but I did have a lot of counseling and that's what got me through it.  Hugs![/quote]

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