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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Thanks for the responses thus far.  DD has tried, and they have fun together.  It is not without backlash from the other girls, which DD seems to dismiss.  DD spends time with the singled out friend and the group friends separately.

Truth be told, some of the moms seem to encourage, as part of the "as long as its not my kid" mentality.  You better believe there would be an enormous, blown up issue if it was their kid left out!  HUGE! That is not as much my concern as the DD being left out, however.

Yes, they are elementary school.  Frankly, some of[b] the girls involved are mean and disrespectful.  I do not let DD know that I think this.[/b]  The girl that is left out is personable, social and seems to be a good kid.  I would prefer this for DD, given the choice.  But I am not one to helicopter or try to control every aspect of when my child sneezes.  Clearly that does a child no good.  I am concerned that this is just meanness gone awry, and I don't want it to escalate (for the friends sake).

I tell DD that she doesn't have to like (everyone) but she does have to be nice to (everyone).

For obvious reasons, I feel too many details are not pertinent to the issue at hand, and would serve the wrong purpose.

[/quote]

How old is your DD?  I let my DD know my opinions on this.  I throw her peers under the bus when need be, because I believe I need to teach my DD what bad behavior looks like, and that you ARE judging the behavior.  I think you'd done a nice job in teaching your DD to be kind to this girl…unless your DD is a huge chatterbox, you can tell her.  This way you can teach her about the mean games that girls play, and how to protect herself and her friends.

I told DD1 stuff when she was in 1st grade.  I had to explain why a particular kid was allowed to behave badly with no consequences (spoiled kid, mom with victimization complex, and the school would look the other way if mom gave a substantial donation.  We've since moved schools) However I have a very chatty DD2 that is now in 3rd and only now can I tell her things because she didn't have a filter before.

I'm glad you care, OP! [/quote]

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