Reply to How do you pick where you spend the holidays?

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[quote=Anonymous]I think you need to be creative and flexible - and realize that as you said, his family dynamics will change over time as the rest of the cousins get older. You might be able to encourage that shift by proposing some alternatives that still honor their holiday traditions.

I have a big family and really value spending the holidays with them, but we're all adults now with our own kids so have come up with some new traditions. We usually try to plan a "Thanksmas" sometime between Thanksgiving and New Years where we can all get together, have a big meal like my mom used to make for Thanksgiving, and exchange gifts. This is rarely on an actual holiday.

Most years we go to my in-laws for Thanksgiving, although occasionally we'll do something with my family instead. I'd love to host myself, but it's not really in the cards.

For Christmas, we host my in-laws at our house for a big dinner and gift exchange one weekend in December. This is my consolation prize for giving up hosting Thanksgiving. For the actual holiday, we travel to my brother's house, and also manage to make it to a big party with my husband's extended family that is nearby. For the past 5 years we have said we are going to stop traveling and do Christmas at home, but every year we end up deciding to embrace the crazy travel and fun of large family celebrations one more time. 
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