Reply to How to handle marriage where kid duty for medical appts is very uneven?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Let me preface this by saying that my husband is a very equal partner in marriage, household duties, and previously, child care responsibilities.

We have 2 kids- 3 and 5.  The 3 year old has some medical issues which require lots of dr's appts when he's having a flare up, and then other periods of being relatively doctor-free.  The 5 year old is typical- sees the dentist twice a year, pediatrician once a year, and then the random infrequent appts here and there as needed.

I telework 50%; we both work downtown otherwise with about an hour commute via public transportation. All of DS' specialists are in NOVA, not downtown.  DH recently got a promotion at work that requires a lot more after-hours work and takes away his one day a week telework day.   He works in a field where he really can't be guaranteed availability to take time off for the kids' medical appts, especially ones that pop up unexpectedly (which is the nature of our son's medical issues).  So, the multitude of dr's appts have fallen to me.  Rationally, I know it makes sense- there's a good chance I'll be teleworking and it makes more sense for me to only have to take 2 hours of sick leave vs. DH taking half a day when you factor in commuting home during non-rush hour, if he can even take the time off.

I'm starting to get slightly resentful because I'm now the default person for dr's appts.  I'm fortunate that my job is fairly flexible and I haven't been told no yet, but who knows how long that will last.  Any words of advice in how to not let this get to me?  I know there are people who have to do everything themselves, and I understand I'm lucky in that I have a partner.  The balance is definitely shifting, though, and I'm just wondering if I should accept it as the new norm.[/quote]

Employers are never going to change if employees don't push back on these policies. Your husband needs to step up.[/quote]

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