Reply to How to maintain family relationships for sake of kids when other family doesn't seem that interested

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "How to maintain family relationships for sake of kids when other family doesn't seem that interested"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I know this has been posted before.  We have siblings/cousins on both sides whom we are all on good terms with.  I always thought when we all had kids, we would do holidays together, and really try to maintain close relationships for our kids.  Without getting into the details now, it's been really disappointing that on both sides (meaning DH and my family) the cousins just aren't that interested in making plans work.  I.e. [b]family get togethers only happen if they happen to work for their schedule,[/b] and getting together isn't a priority.  I'm not sure what kind of advice I'm looking for but maybe this is just a vent.  Anyone else gone through this?[/quote]

How else would they happen?  Surely you don't expect them to cancel previously scheduled plans in order to get together.  People are busy with jobs and kids, they also have other more immediate family and in-laws to balance, friendships to maintain, etc.  If you want to get together, plan events and let the people who can make it, come.  People aren't going to maintain relationships so that their kids can be close to their second cousins.  You need to lose the ideal family situation you have in your head and look at what the best way is to maintain family relationships with the family you actually have, otherwise you're going to be disappointed a lot.  [/quote]

NP here. Every family I know is over scheduled, especially on weekends. If you want to make plans with out of town relatives your kids are probably going to have to miss some sports practice or someone's birthday party. I am close with my cousins and so we do rearrange our schedules in order to get together -- if we didn't, it would never happen. If I were in OP's shoes I would definitely be hurt that the other families aren't willing to do this. But OP, you can't force it if they're not interested. And if you keep bending over backwards to see them when it's not reciprocated, you will eventually start feeling resentful. Sometimes things don't work out the way we had pictured them in our minds.  If you want your kids to have those close cousin-type relationships, I would focus your energy on getting together with friends who want the same thing.  They don't have to be blood relatives to feel like cousins.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics