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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here: My mom is really fit, takes no meds and has a lot of friends. She is active in her community and travels with my dad.

She told me once while we were shopping that the great thing about getting older is to just "let it fly".

Maybe she is right. We should all just "let it fly".

[/quote]

"Mom, when you let it fly, remember that someone else gets hit by the shrapnel. You seem to believe that age gives you a pass on being polite or kind, but put the filter back on around me and my family. I love you and I am not used to being your collateral damage when you let it fly. I'm telling you clearly that you are hurting me but you are either not listening or not caring. Why?" and don't let her get away with brushing it off. Tell her the "Why" is a real question and you will sit right there waiting for a real answer.

Age is no excuse for being rude or hurtful. If she is really OK and is making a conscious choice to be hurtful in the alleged name of being "frank and direct," she deserves to hear that she is going to alienate you for what is left of her life. There are people who make a great virtue of being "honest" when what they actually are doing is using their "honesty" as a cover for being cruel.

(And I do wonder if despite her overall good health there is something going on mentally -- the tragedy of dementia is that it can leave the body in great shape while it eats the mind. The fact that she is not on any meds, is still fine to travel etc. means very little in terms of whether this might be a very early sign of dementia. The fact she announced that she likes having no filter says it's probably not, but I'd still keep an eye out for changes to her behavior and personality that will have no connection to her overall health, which could remain good.)[/quote]

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