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[quote=Anonymous]I get it. I really do. I had someone make an intense impact on me in my very early 20s - and though it was never a romantic relationship and I moved on with my life quite well by all appearances, he was never too far from my mind. It felt like we had unfinished business of some kind, and it felt like my life could only be improved by having this smart, interesting, affectionate person back in it.

(We met in the U.S. but he came from elsewhere and has since moved back to his home country, so yes - lots of parallels.)

I did open up a "pen-pal" kind of relationship with him a little while back, about 12 years after the last time we spoke. This is just my experience and not universally applicable - obviously - but it turned out to be a huge huge huge mistake. For a few reasons:

1) Once he was in my life again, I quickly experienced emotions that interfered with my current marriage (not a problem for you, OP, but it might be for the guy)

2) He shat on my treasured memories. He didn't mean to, but the things he said in the past that I'd *memorized* and attached *so much meaning to* - half these things he didn't even remember. That particular rejection, to have it pointed out to me (if inadvertently) that what I thought was mutual, proof that we would have been together someday if life didn't get in the way, was in fact significantly one-sided and didn't mean to him what it meant to me...ugh. Ouch.

3) Turns out I'm not the same person I was, and he isn't, either. We were so happy to talk again but the novelty wore off surprisingly quickly and we got on each other's nerves way more than we ever did back in the day. We've since fallen out of touch and I don't think either of us is eager to take it up again.

My point is that for us...it would have been much better to leave the past in the past. Again, not universally applicable. [/quote]

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