Reply to New baby on the way; older teen stepdaughter

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My DD was 13 and reacted this way, and her DD and I are still married.  So I think this is a normal reaction for teens.  [b]They are pretty self centered at this age, [/b]and they don't want any cute little babies cutting in.  Like previous PPs have said this usually gets better as the pregnancy progresses.  Shopping for the baby, planning and then when the baby is born.  Give her space initially, try not to just talk about the pregnancy, maybe make dinner time a no baby discussion time.  Then start including her when you make decisions, and don't be hurt if at first she says no.  You sound like a very understanding person and a great stepmom so I am sure you will get through this ok!!  Good luck and congratulations!!![/quote]

I'd give her more credit than that.

I'm going to take a stab and guess that your step DD is afraid of losing you as her "mother" once you have a bio kid of your own. Having had one parent drop her (or whatever happened) makes her feel insecure and unimportant. Now, she is going to be even less important when you and her dad and the new baby become a happy little nuclear family. [/quote]

OP here - I'm concerned its a lot of this.[/quote]

I'm the PP here. OP, I hope that by marrying into this family you knew you were accepting this girl as your daughter (at least in some fashion or anther though things may have played out differently), and that you don't intend to shut her out for the sake of convenience once the baby arrives. [/quote]

PP - absolutely - I've embraced my role as a mother figure while recognizing I'm not the mother and would never ever ever do this. I've been in her life for over 13 years, so I'm not going anywhere. I am wondering if perhaps she is feeling less sure of this with this new news, so seeking ways to reassure her and help with transition.[/quote]

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