Reply to Found a lighter in dd's jacket. Now what?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]A few minutes later, she came to me and said "Can I tell you the truth?" [/quote]

This, to me, sounds like the actions of a kid who is being honest.  Or possibly one who is being dishonest, afraid she is about to get caught, and is scrambling to find a lie that will be believed.  I have one kid who would be the first, and one, sadly, who is the second.  But despite the fact that it is a 50/50 thing in my house, I think overall most kids (who aren't in counseling for habitual lying and several other issues like mine is) would be being honest when they reach out to their parents like this.  Which one fits your kid?  Try, for a moment, to ignore the smoke you smelled and the lighter you found, and think of this action coming from your daughter.  Which type of person is she?

If you think she is usually honest with you, then I'd let his go, at least in regards to her, and assume she is telling the truth.  But I would keep my eyes wide open going forward for any additional hints.

What to do about the telling the other parent is the harder question for me.  I'd hate to undermine my child's trust when they came to me and asked me to keep quiet about it, but if I were the other parent, I would for sure want to know.  I think your best bet is to try to get your daughter to understand why you need to tell the other parent, and then do so.  While it is nice that your daughter and her friends are trying to convince this friend to stop smoking, unfortunately a bunch of kids aren't very well equipped to truly help the girl in question.[/quote]

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