Reply to What to do about chronic lying, esp. about homework? Says he just can't help it.

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Reply to "What to do about chronic lying, esp. about homework? Says he just can't help it."

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here, the assignment book has check-boxes for each assignment.

Re internalizing his responsibility: I'm glad to hear my personal viewpoint reiterated but the problem is my husband can't tolerate leaving him to possibly fail.  It's possible DS would find his inner student if we just left him to his own devices, however when we have done that experimentally in the past, DS got a string of C's and D's.  (Despite doing very well on tests.)

In addition, DH feels that when teachers report undone homework or projects, or give failing grades it is a parental failing not to intervene with the kid in some way (lecturing, consequences, etc.)  DH travels a lot so he finds fault with me if I don't keep on DS's case.

Another complication is that if there is an assignment to be done on the computer, DS will appear to be working but instead will be web-surfing.  Blocking unrelated websites is difficult and DS will still surf what he is left with, and continue to waste time.
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This is a very common problem with "absentee" parents. They think they know from afar what the child needs. Doesn't work that way. Dad should defer to mom who is "on the scene". He wants to be Mr Nice Guy Dad, but it really causes much damage to the child he so loves and misses.[/quote]

I wouldn't call Dad absentee.  It's hard to watch your kid fail, knowing that GPA does matter down the road and knowing that they are capable of As.  This is classic helicopter parenting, not absentee.[/quote]

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