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[quote=Anonymous]Your MIL is not going to change. She's just not.

You can only control your own behavior. You can smile and ignore her, or you can skip Xmas/Tgiving/etc. If you decide to skip, don't have any illusions that your absence will make MIL think twice about her behavior. It won't. She'll just blame you.

It sounds like your DH does not want to skip spending holidays with his family. So presumably y'all will be spending at least some of those occasions apart, while he visits his family on his own. Are you OK with that? Is he OK with that?

Me, personally, I think you and DH need to work out a compromise. Assuming MIL is going to continue to be a horrible person, how much time can you handle spending there? If they're far away, can you stay at a hotel and only go to their home for the holiday meal itself? Or can you handle Xmas or Tgiving, one or the other but not both?

Figure out what your tolerance is (and maybe it's none), and then work with your DH to figure out the best way y'all can accommodate your limited tolerance for his mom.

Just give up on her ever seeing the light. It doesn't happen. She's not gonna get her comeuppance and see the light. You either deal with her how she is or you don't.[/quote]

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