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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here and I appreciate all of the different suggestions. To clarify, I am not a helicopter parent or someone who puts education above all else. If I did, wouldn't have married my husband, who doesn't have the education i do. I knew that and fell in love with him because of other characteristics he has. And I still do love those. He is fantastic guy and great husband and father, and we have had no issues whatsoever until this school thing. I myself am a product of public schools until high school.

[b]We are in Alexandria and it's well known that our public school is considered to be failing by state standards. It's been well discussed on this board and is in the bottom of the bottom in SOL rank.[/b] If we lived in one of the better zones, I would certainly consider public. But that's not the case here. And having researched the process of transferring, I am not confident it will be a good o[/quote]

If your DH had more info. about the school -- like visceral info -- maybe he'd see the same concerns you have.  I typically am suspicious of people who claim their school is so "bad" that they can't send their kids there ... then it turns out that it is a "6" on Great Schools which is above average.  But, in your case, I am pretty sure you're not kidding about it being a failing school.  So, that's why I suggest putting DH in the position where he can get a first hand view of the school (and you can get a first hand view as well).  You can read all the stats you want, but until you see something first hand, you won't really internalize it.  That would be my first step.  I would also have a conversation -- with a genuinely open mind -- to find out what characteristics a school would have to have for it to be acceptable, and whether there are any "unacceptable" characteristics.  Is he really against moving (b/c it's such an effort and upheval, or the financial burden of buying up) or is he against the idea of private (b/c it's the opposite of what he had)?

I don't think you need therapy or couples counselling until you both have seen the school in question from the inside (literally and from parents of kids who go there).  Right now, you have one picture and DH has another picture.  Until you have the SAME DATA POINTS, you are never going to find common ground in what you value.  I think you value the same things that most parents value -- he just thinks this school might be o.k. and you think this school is in the crapper.  Start by finding the values that you have in common (i.e. safety, teachers that speak respectfully to the kids, teachers that are prepared, classmates that you'd want your kids to have as friends, etc.).  Then visit the school and talk to parents of the kids, ... then you both make a decision on whether this school fits the values.  I bet you have more in common than you think.  If you are disagreeing on whether the school fits after visiting, then it's time to find an arbitrator/counselor.[/quote]

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