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[quote=Anonymous]OK I will try to keep it short but to give the back story it may get a little long

My family is not one of those close families at all, though I am the only one living far away from my family (different state). But my siblings and parents (and step parents) all live within miles of each other and never see each other. I may call my mother once ever two months (or longer). My youngest sister and I facebook a little, mostly just liking each others posts. The rest of my siblings not so much. For extended family on my dads side due to my parents divorce early on I do not know my uncles or cousins at all. On my moms side I visited my aunt some as a little kid and my uncle once (when I was 8). But my moms family was never close, well it was mostly my mom. Guess she didn't get along with them.

So now I have been living far from my family for a while - which is fine. I have only been home once. I have friends I consider family - we have know each other for 15 years. We spend holidays together, vacation together, dinners, etc. I am not married and have no children, but they do so I am like the aunt.

My mom in one of our calls mentioned that her sister, my aunt, is now living close to me. I was like what? than says my cousin also lives here? I asked how long. She said they just moved and that my cousin is now married and has a kid. I asked for their phone numbers. My mom misplaced them and said when her sister calls she will get it again. Well 6 months later she found it! 
So I first text my aunt (it was an out of state number so I figured it was a cell). For almost  week I got nothing. Than a text back. We planned to talk on the phone the next night. Well she never called. Finally texting saying she had to work late. We did finally talk a few days later, but it was for about 10 mins. But in the past month  we have not talked at all. Now we did find each other on facebook (yeah facebook) and also her husband. So we do the like each other post sometimes her husband likes or comments on my posts. We have not met at all, even though I suggested us meeting for coffee or lunch. She brushed it off that she only has one day off (Sunday she spends time with her grandchild).

Ok now my aunt said we should do Xmas together. I gave a weary yeah we will see. But it is stressing me out. Her husband mentioned it on facebook - see you at Xmas. I don't mind seeing them. I haven't seen them in almost 20 years - so whatever. Its that I already do things with my "family" (my friends I mentioned above). Its a whole day of presents, food, resting, going to the movies and than eating more - you know the good stuff. It has been like this for 15 years. My aunt and her family live an hour (with no traffic) from me and I am just thinking how can I do this. How can I do both. From what I remember she is one of those that does up the house for the meal and everyone dresses up (guys in khakis and button ups etc). That is just not fun to me. My holidays are laid back, enjoying each other and having a good time laughing. Not worring if the drinks will spill or the food will burn. Ok that sounds bad. I know its not all about fun. I guess I don't want to miss Xmas with my family and miss what the kids faces are like and I don't want to hurt my aunts feelings. 
I have never had to split my time for any holiday, so this is all weird to me. How do others do it? How do you make sure you don't miss something? I really just want to tell her lets meet the day after or maybe the day before? Why does it have to be on Xmas? [/quote]

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