Reply to Parents - please check in with your kids

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]What do you recommend we tell them to help, when geographically we're so far away? [/quote]

Make sure your pride in them is not connected to their academic success. 
Make sure they know that disappointment is okay, that if they are disappointed in themselves or even if you are disappointed (that they aren't doing well) that isn't a big deal, disappointment can be overcome.
Make sure you aren't describing them or putting them into the role of the 'good' kid, or the easy kid or the capable kid or the kid you don't have to worry about. That makes it very difficult for them ever to let you down.
Don't focus on academics as being the marker of success. If they define success as high marks, then they see low marks as failure and themselves as a failure
If you encourage them to work hard and get high marks and often ask how their marks are, they may not be able to be truthful if they aren't doing well. They might think you will assume they aren't working hard if they don't get high marks. 
If they have a natural tendency to be perfectionistic or to put high pressure on themselves, talk to them about this.
If you put high pressure on them or expect perfectionism - STOP.
If you pay for school and they feel indebted to you and as though you already do too much for them, talk about this.

And most of all, just open the lines of communication about their mental health. Ask them how stressed they are, ask if there are any courses they are worried they might not pass, and reassure them if they are struggling, that is okay.

Suggest local avenues for support where they are, and offer more frequent contact with home if needed. I agree with the PP that a semester or two off can be a really good thing for some students. [/quote]

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