Reply to Give me permission to not visit nutty sister for Thanksgiving

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I couldn't find in your post how far away she is. As others note, if it's fairly close you could go for a short time but be sure to have a firm and unmissable other appointment that day (and please make it a real one -- your kids will bust you if you lie and say "we have to leave after 90 minutes to go to friend X's for the rest of the day" and you have no such real plans). If you can't muster another obligation, can you muster the courage just to say, "We'll arrive at 1:00 and leave at 3:00 -- we need to be home early this year" without explanation? Sister and mother both will rake you for it, but if you can do it -- good for you.

If the distance is greater, that's your out. "It's a nice idea but we are not traveling this year for Thanksgiving." Said with a huge smile in your voice and no explanations or excuses.

I would note that you will probably have more issues with your mom than your sister. Sister is already nutty. But your mom is going to try to guilt you into this. She has already said that it's her dream to have a perfect Thanksgiving with everyone there. Are you ready to handle it when she says you're crushing that dream? Because I'd bet cash that she will. But you don't exist to fulfill her dreams for her. I think a lot depends here on how you and your mom get along and whether sister is just extremely annoying but tolerable for a few hours for mom's sake. If your sister is so toxic for you that you cannot endure her for two hours even to keep mom happy, then do not go. If you and mom get along well otherwise and you can tolerate two hours, then consider going.

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