Reply to I Cannot Believe I Relapsed (!!)

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "I Cannot Believe I Relapsed (!!)"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]I dated this guy for a few months back who was not only a total bum, he also was very abusive to me for the duration of our relationship.
I endured it all. Physical (slapping, pushing, biting and kicking), Mental/Emotional (name calling, false accusations, public humiliation) and Financial (taking everything he could from me without reciprocating anything.) It was pure hell and the police were involved multiple times throughout. We broke up and I did very well living my life on my own terms and finding the peace and tranquility that had eluded me in my time with him. However I started getting lonelier and lonelier as time went on and started thinking about him more and more, of course concentrating on the good times we had no matter how far and few between they were.

I got an opportunity to house-sit for 2.5 weeks and had this whole beautiful mansion to myself and thought what a great opportunity to re-connect with him since in the past few months he had never made any effort to contact me and had [i]probably[/i] changed his ways during that time since it gave him some respite time away. &lt;---- What the hell was I thinking??!!

Well, I tried so hard [i]not[/i] to call him, I knew I had come a long way since our break up and had made immeasurable progress in my life without him and his misery. It was a day to day struggle not to call him. Then one day, I was too weak and succumbed to temptation....I felt like an addict &quot;falling off the wagon.&quot; I felt like I was relapsing.

We talked and he was so sweet. Said he missed me, and that he had time to think about things and realized the error of his ways and was sorry for how bad he treated me. His voice sounded so calm and his tone so sincere and he said he was over all the bad activity he once engaged in. So vulnerable AND stupid me invited him back into my life again.

Long story short, everything was fine the first 22 hours.
Then reality set in. [u]Doesn't it always????[/u]
We argued, he accused me of crazy things, he hit me, he destroyed my personal property, he took my money, he used drugs and lied to me over and over.

So like in the past, I had to get law enforcement to get him away from me since he [b]never[/b] leaves when I tell him to. In fact, he always threatens violence when I ask him to leave.

Now he is gone and I am feeling quite relieved and happy.

But truth be told, I am uneasy, I do not trust myself. Will I call him in another few months when I get lonely?

I feel like I am addicted to this person and it is a constant battle to forget about him and move away from him. I am always afraid of &quot;falling off the wagon&quot; and falling for him.

Is it possible for me to be addicted to a person the same way an alcohol or drug addict is addicted ??

Thanks everyone for your input.

I cannot talk to anyone in my life about this.

No one, [u]no one[/u] understands this. Not even me. LOL. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics