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[quote=Anonymous]You are having trouble seeing the fault lies with him because he has changed the way you think about yourself. Being told over and over over again that your stupid, worthless etc will certainty do that. It absolutely changed the way I thought. I felt guilty as hell leaving and seeing the ripple affect on my young daughter but you know what, a happy mom is a good mom. I tell people all the time - if I had stayed longer, I'm sure I would've died in that house. My parents could see the stress I was under.

It's not selfish to say you deserve to be treated with respect. That's your right as a human being. It's SOOOO Hard to see when you are in the middle of it, but believe it. Absolutely no shame in sticking up for yourself and knowing that you derserve much much much better. I did what you did for 2 years - hoping the ex would change or work to keep our family together at least for the sake of our daughter. He never did. Probably never will.  To this day he still blames me.

Working on yourself in therapy to bring your self-esteem back is a great step in the right direction. Just know that the focus is on yourself. If the H doesn't come to the table for therapy, he has nothing to do with it.

A very wise woman told me this - The significant relationships in our lives will not always be perfect, but they should always be honest, respectful, and free of bullying, mind games, and anxiety. We should always know where we stand. True that!!!!

Does he know you are going?[/quote]

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